I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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