Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
