He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
