I will die if light touches me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
handjob tips. give me some.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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