I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
