I love black thongs
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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