He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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