That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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