And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
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My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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