She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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