do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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