i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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