just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
