Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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