i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
