Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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