after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
