Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss