dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
