So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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