You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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