We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
birth control should be required to get into college
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
