This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
