Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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