when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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