He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
