when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
