I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize