Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
