I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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