can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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