so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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