Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
