I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
