what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize