if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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