okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
