Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
