This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
