I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
