We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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