In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
