I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
