My brain says no but my pants say off.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
