What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
