More tranny stories later!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
