fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
