Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
