erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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