I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
