I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
