You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
