I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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