just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
