That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Fuck appropriateness.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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