He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
