Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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