so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
