So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize