I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
