oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
