I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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