3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize