dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
