ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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