You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
