He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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