There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
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What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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