it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
