Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
